I'm at a block.

Not really sure what kind of block it is. I just feel like I'm blocked into a small, confined space, in every sense possible.

Also, relationships are exhausting. I don't mean my dating relationship, but friendships I guess. I just don't have it in me to constantly be talking to people. I feel bad not answering texts or just ignoring some messages, but not enough to actually answer.

Strangled

As of late, meaning for the past year or so, I've been deathly scared of just letting my life pass by me. I want to try new things, I want to put myself out in the world and experience life outside of this life of a Southern Californian university student who does nothing but go to class and play games on her computer. I really wish I could travel while I'm still single and young, but in order to travel, you need money, and in order to make money, you need to get a job, and in order to get a good job, you need to go to school. I kind of feel like I'm slowly being choked out by all this impossible constancy of my life. It's not so much that I'm unhappy with my life. I'm pretty content. But I guess every time I open Facebook or Instagram, I just see all of my friends going out, studying abroad, going out of state every year...and I wonder if I'll have a chance to do things like that before I get married and get permanently glued down to my responsibilities. I want to go back to Europe. That one week during summer vacation a couple years ago was probably the highlight of my life for the past five years. I just wish I hadn't gone with that Korean touring program. It was so restricting. If I'm going to travel to a foreign country, I want to choose my own schedule. Not follow some half-ass schedule that will be dragged an hour late by old Korean people who can't stick to time commitments. And the majority of the food we frikin ate was janky Korean food...??? In Europe?!? Why would you take us to Korean restaurants in Europe when we can get cheaper and better Korean food in LA where we're originally from? Take us to some actual European restaurants. But as unsatisfying as the trip was, it was still one of the best experiences of my life. I'm not much of a risk taker but I'm guessing that's what I have to do if I want my life to get somewhere.

Well then.

A lot has happened since my last post which was way back in 2012. It is now the new year of 2015. I realized that my problem with blogging is I completely forget my log-in information. Well, today, I sat for a good three hours with my boyfriend (more updates on that later) in a coffee shop, setting up our own blog to share accounts of our adventures and what not. He then showed me an old Tumblr account he had back in his freshman year of college. It was, of course, full to the brim with teenage angst. It brought back some embarrassing, yet endearing memories of myself. Sadly, I deleted a lot of my teenage writing because of my embarrassment. Maybe I'll be able to uncover a few things here and there for old time's sake.

But yes, I am now 21 years old, and I have learned and grown over the past three years (thankfully). I'm now a junior/senior in college. Senior by credit, but because I changed majors after my freshman year, I'm a junior by degree requirements. I have been dating this guy for almost a year now. Faith is dating???? Yes she is. She's a big girl now.

Well, I must return to procrastinating on my theology reading and assignments now. Some things just never change.

Here's for Yunz!

Starting up blogging again for my dearest Yunz c: Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this somewhat. It'll be nice to have a place to write my feelings down. Let's see what happens~